Rock 'n' Love
by mattyfan
Summary: The past and present of Lily and Rufus... Thank you so much for the comments!:
1. Chapter 1

Rock'n'Love

New York, winter of 85

Ice crystals made the most beautiful and abstract designs on the large window of the luxurious penthouse which was home to the prestigous Rhodes family. While CeCe Rhodes was sipping Champagne, trying her best to look like an aristocrat, her sixteen year old daughter Lily gazed out the decorated window .

"I sincerely hope you're dreaming of the debutant's ball, Lily Rhodes! You still haven't tried on your dress."

Her mother's harsh voice brought the young, blonde Beauty back to reality. Nevertheless, she had to stifle a yawn. She hated all those stiff events, and she was very thankful to her dad for letting her stay at a public school one more year before sending her to the awfully classy Constance Billard School. At least, she would have someone to share her fate – her closest friend Eleanor 'Elly' Waldorf would be sent to this school, too.

"Can I at least choose my date, Mom?"

Lily Rhodes wasn't usually this bold when it came to talking back to her dominant mother. Her friend Elly was way better than her in dealing with her parents, even if Lily suspected that Lily's big mouth would get her into trouble one day. Nonetheless, Lily amired her best friend's apparent independence and tried her best to follow suit.  
Which was not successful at all. CeCe once again had to defy her daughter. The noble lady wanted to have a chat with the little Waldorf girl, her bad influence on Lily showed. However, CeCe always knew how to have her way with her daughter, Lily just couldn't stand up to her. It was all for her best – as long as it didn't hurt the reputation of the Rhodes family.

"Child, I don't understand what your problem with Bart Bass is. He's a well-groomed, attractive man with excellent manners."

"And excellent money, I know. But the old man is 30, Mom! I can't take him to..." Lily covered her mouth wih her hand, but the damage had been done. Her mothers face had become all wrinkly with anger and the Champagne made the noble lady belch. She tried to stay calm anyway and told her daughter in an icy voice:

"Go to your room, Lily Rhodes! And you can stay there for the rest of the day, until you realise that we talk in a more cultivated manner. You going to the ball with Bart is not up for discussion. It is a fact and you will have to deal with it, young lady."

Lily hated to be patronised, but she gave in once again. The reason for this was the fact, that she had planned something adventurous for the evening and she didn't want to arouse suspicion. Her mother should think that she had won once again. Tonight, Lily wanted to enjoy life.  
While CeCe slowly calmed down in the living room, Lily dragged up an old bag from under her bed. Elly had given it to her in school. Getting it into her room had not been hard. Her mother often entertained guests who drawed off the attention from Lily. Sometimes the fact that her mother thought of her as a mere status symbol made Lily really unhappy. She considered herself presentable, but she longed for love and closeness – feelings her mother couldn't show. Her father was a likeable, nice person, but always away on business trips, she never got to see him. Lily was jealous of her fellow students, who didn't know of the sorrows that came with the money. She'd love to swap places with them, if she could. But tonight, she finally would be free to laugh. From the bag, Lily produced a pair of Jeans with holes and covered her mouth to prevent herself from giggling. If her mother saw her dressed like that, she would die from shock and Lily didn't want that to happen.

At seven, Lily's time had come. As usual, CeCe left the penthouse to dine with her old friends at 'The Palace', a chic New York restaurant and to talk about the debutants ball. Bart Brass' influential father would be there, too. CeCe got along great with him; the affair that they had been having for some time now was a secret she only shared with her friends.

Lily didn't know any of this, and tonight she didn't want to hear anything about the phony high society. Eleanor picked her up in her limousine, lucky for them, the driver was a descrete person. He didn't even smile when the girls, usually dressed in designer clothes, got in the car dressed in tight Jeans, leather jackets and leather boots.

"You're gonna love the show, honey! There's no cooler band around and the boys are incredibly hot! I wonder why you haven't met them at school. Maybe because they take different classes and they're extremly popular."

Lily smiled at Eleanor , who usually was a fashion victim, but also knew how to upset her parents. Elly found herself in a difficult situation. Until tonight she had always been the center of attraction at school. But without her bun and her oldfashioned clothes, Lily looked adorable. As much as Eleanor liked her, she would not let her steal her shine. But even Eleanor didn't know about the plans of nasty Emily who wanted to use the opportunity to play a prank on Lily. Lucky for her that Lily had forgotten her bra in the locker room the other day after Cheerleader practise.


	2. Chapter 2

A while later in the crowded auditorium of the old school…

When Lily saw the crowd of students that had gathered, she instantly became shy again, which was a relief for Elly. She even felt pity when she heard the students make fun at Lily again.

"Let them talk, you're so much better than that! The guys will be on stage any minute now, we have to make it to the front row. Let me tell you, these boys are gonna make you sweat!" 

Lily rolled her eyes – Elly got on her nerves and the air in the auditorium got stuffier by the minute. She was here for the music, not because of the looks of the band members. Lily was no fool, she knew she would never date a rock star, or 'someone equally barbaric' like her mother would put it. She was too committed to her 'world' as much as she sometimes hated it.

But from the moment the members of 'Lincoln Hawk' entered the stage, Lily became a whole new person. Up until know, she had only encountered drowsy classical music, but these boys made her heart flutter and she went crazy like the rest of the audience. She was dancing wildly with Elly and didn't notice all the boys at school staring at her with delight. Nobody had thought it possible that this stiff young girl could be so vivacious and beautiful.

All the female students became envious and even more hateful towards her. Emily was sick of her boyfriend Bryan constantly staring at 'the slut's' breasts. No one was watching when she threw the bra with Lily's name on it onto the stage as a revenge. It landed right at the feet of the popular and attractive singer Rufus.

He raised his eyebrow and started thinking while his band mates finished their song. He normally hated intrusive little brats, but this time he had a vague feeling he could not explain. He only knew he had to act – for whatever reason.

A moment later, the girls all wanted an encore, especially screaming Lily, who could hardly be controlled by Elly. But some girls knew about Emmy's evil plan to make Lily look stupid and enjoyed the silence and the fact that Rufus was willing to play the game. Lily would surely leave school and not come back.

Emily smiled gleefully and Elly went pale as a ghost as she looked at her enemy's diabolic face. It got even worse when all the students started laughing and shouting as Rufus picked up the pink bra. Lily almost fainted when she recognized it. No one else here had a designer bra like that, and he, the stud muffin, as Lily had decided to call him for herself, he of all people was holding it.

"Who does this beauty belong to? Ah, there's a name on it. Lily? Lily Rhodes? Would you come to the stage?"

16 years old, Rufus was more the timid kind, whose wild side only showed with a guitar in his hands. But tonight, something special was going to happen, he knew this deep in his heart.  
Lily, however, was shaking inside and outside from this embarrassment. She didn't know who had done this to her, but it would surely stay with her all her life. Elly felt pity and wanted her friend to get away from school. Emily, however, was not willing to miss her big moment and pointed towards Lily, shouting loudly:

"There she is. That's the Rhodes slut!"  
While the crowd went crazy and Elly went over and slapped Emily in the face, Lily didn't trust her ears when she heard Rufus' warm, sexy voice.

"She doesn't look like a slut to me. Unlike most girls here. Come on Lily. I won't hurt you."

Lily turned around, tossing her long blonde hair, so Rufus was captured by this striking fairy, so different from the others. He just had to meet her. Lily, however, didn't know what to do. On the one hand, she felt flattered and had to admit that she had already fallen for this dark haired, attractive boy with the manly voice. On the other hand, she feared that he was just like the others, wanting to play a cruel joke. And even if he was sincere, flirting with him would make no sense. Her mother would surely do her best to destroy a romantic relationship.

What was she to do? She had to catch her breath when Rufus jumped off the stage and approached her...


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the nice comments:))) **

For a few seconds, not only young Lily Rhodes stood still, but also the world around her. But before the attractive young singer could reach the girl of his dreams she panicked – and ran away. Elly and a dumbfounded Rufus – he was more used to girls chasing him than to girls running away from him – called after her, but Lily didn't listen., she ran for her life, away from the auditorium. What the hell was she thinking? She had lied to her mother, the whole school was laughing about her and she had made a complete fool of herself in front of this great singer and young man.  
Fortunately, Lily quickly found a free cab (which was truly rare in New York) and got home, crying her eyes out. If she was lucky, her mother would still be with her friends and Lily could only hope and pray that she would never find out about the little excursion her rebellious daughter had taken.

Back in her room, still drenched in tears, Lily tried to collect her thoughts. Too much had hapened this evening, but one thing bothered her more than the fact that she had betrayed her mother and the spitefullness of her fellow students. She couldn't get Rufus out of her head, let alone her heart and she hated herself for it. Inspite of all her problems, a smile crossed her youthful face as she thought of his warm, really sincere dark eyes. Never forgetting his affectionate, sexy voice which could break any heart. Lily had to admit to herself that for the first time she had found out what it meant to have butterflies in her stomach. She had never felt like that about snooty Bart Brass or young William, who was her mother's second choice and whom she like slightly more.

Rufus, however, had managed to break the shell. He sparked this amazing feeling of warmth and love. Lily smiled benignly about her own thoughts, she had started to sound like those terrible, tacky romance novels Elly was reading all the time. Lily lay down on her big, soft bed and hugged her lace pillow. She stroke it tenderly and lovingly called it Rufus. Which almost made her laugh out loud. Maybe she was slightly crazy, but was there anything better than being cazy in love? But the next moment, Lily chided herself. How could she use this meaningful term 'love' on a young man she had only met today? And she didn't really know him, they needed more time together. Lily admitted to herself that she had missed out on a great opportunity. It was doubtful that Rufus wanted to talk to her again and maybe it was better this way. He would hardly be good enough in the eyes of CeCe Rhodes...

The next day, Lily tried really hard to play 'Mommies little angel' and succeeded. CeCe had given her a doubtful look at the breakfast table when Lily announced that she wanted to go to the ball with Bart Brass, but a little later, her smug mother was content again.  
She considered her daughter to be much too timid and too dependent to have her own way. No, Lily was easy to influence, and it wouldn't be long before the girl would marry into high society. It was that simple – at least for CeCe. Lily, however, still had a mind of her own but didn't want to be grounded again. Even Lily Rhodes could act innocent, so she could get what she wanted!

Next day in school was hard. There was hardly a student who didn't make fun of her and her bra. On top of that, Elly was sulking just because Lily had left the concert. Tough Elly just couldn't understand why Lily hadn't had the guts to stay. It had been really boring without Lily, especially as Rufus had refused to play any encores. Elly also had become jealous again; her friend had managed to get the attention of the most attractive boy in school. Even if the other guys made fun of Lily – it was merely peer pressure. Elly had seen some of them glancing longingly in Lily's direction. She looked like plain Jane again this morning, but after last night, everybody knew the beauty behind the chaste exterior. Elly knew that Lily needed her friendship, but she couldn't swallow her pride.Lily had beaten her in the contest for popularity and Elly couldn't get over it. At least not today...

Lily could barely hold back the tears of disappointment and cursed her locker when she wanted to get her history text books and it wouldn't open. She was startled when a foot kicked her locker. It did open, but Lily was mad at the intrusion. She turned around angrily and wanted to shout at the stranger but when she looked into the dark teddy bear eyes of Rufus Humphrey, her anger vanished instantly.

"Sorry if I scared you, but you have to show those things who the boss is."

"And that's you, lord of the lockers?" Lily answered sharply, which was appealing to Rufus. He laughed; the most beautiful laugh Lily had ever seen on a young man. It was natural and not snooty like from some privat school guy.

"At least my little kick made you exchange some words with me, Lily Rhodes. I hated seeing you leave last night. Didn't you like the music? Or do I look that scary to you?"

"No, no!" Lily was quick to answer, almost to quick for her taste. She liked the fact that a popular guy was willing to talk to a wallflower. Or was he after her money? Lily had to be careful, but on the other hand she didn't want to end up a cynical, bitter grand dame like her mom. And she enjoyed the jealous looks the other girls shot at her.

"Your concert was great. But I didn't have anything to do with my...the...ah...textile incident.  
I'm not that immature."

Rufus gave her a lovely smile which almost made her heart melt again. Both could not stop staring at each other, they were fascinated with one another. 

"I never believed that, Lily. But you shouldn't wear your hair in a bun. A fairy like you shouldn't hide her beauty." 

Lily was perplexed and automaticly tossed her blond hair when cheeky Rufus boldly opened her bun. Rufus wanted to kiss her – and why not? He gently pulled her towards him and placed a kiss on her soft, sensuous lips. It was a shy but very tender kiss. More like a peck.  
Nevertheless, from one moment to the other, Lily landed on cloud number nine and wanted to stay forever. What an amazing feeling, just for one second, his soft lips on hers. It set free some type of energy she hadn't known before, she herself was taken by surprise when she asked him out. It was quite unusual for a girl, let alone a high society girl.

"Thanks Rufus! Do you want to come out and eat at 'Dinners' with me tonight?"

Lily almost bit her tongue when she saw the look of surprise on Rufus' face. She was walking on thin ice. And she had just invited him to a restaurant which was frequented by her mom's girl friends. Much to her surprise, Rufus nodded. What a great girl, he amired her more and more.

"Usually, I prefer the 'Golden M', but why not try something new? I have only one condition: I'll pay! I don't know how, but..."

Lily smiled, she also started to admire him. Other guys would have run away – some would have accepted but would not have suggested to pay. Rufus seemed to be a real man, in spite of his youth. Lily liked that even more than his looks. She was all smiles and Rufus felt like sinking into her cute dimples.

"I know the manager, you can work there if you have to."

"I have to. You know all men want to impress women!"

Lily laughed, her white teeth brightend up the day of the up-and-coming rock star. Rufus was horrified when he thought about the upper class, but he didn't want to insult Lily. He just hoped he wouldn't make a complete ass out of himself at the dinner table.  
However, his feelings for Lily were bigger than his fear, and Rufus decided to be up for the challenge. Even if he had to use Karate to open the lobster or used the fish knife for his steak, an heavenly evening with this blond angel was worth it.

Again, Rufus sank into Lily's blue eyes, she sank into his dark eyes and in this moment, there was only the two of them and their young budding love.


	4. Chapter 4

**For my loyal readers and, above all, for the nice comments! This story is quite ready - therefore, the quick continuations. The continuation (with a lot of Chuck/Blair, Dan/Serena and Rufus/Lily and a young person, who makes Lily jealous ) is in work. Unfortunately, my English is not so good (I am German) and the English translation of the continuation is terrible! Unfortunately, my friend does not translate my stories any more. Till then, however, a lot of fun with THIS story!!!**

Later that night, Lily had to console her crestfallen boyfriend; dinner had turned out to be one of his biggest desasters ever. When he tried to eat an olive with his fork, it jumped right from his plate into the mayors wife's cleavage – the most embarrassing moment of the evening. Even Lily wanted to just disappear after that.  
Before, poor Rufus had tried really hard to eat Lily's favourite food – French escargot. His face literally turned green, but Lily adored the fact that he had tried them for her.  
He didn't seem to enyoy the oysters either, he ran straight to the men's room after that.

"Lily, I'm so sorry, but..."

The young Blonde who looked adorable in her little black dress and her swept up hairdo, tenderly reached for his cold hand and kissed it so affectionately, Rufus couldn't help smiling.

"Stop it, Rufus. I am sorry I did this to you. The night is still young, let's go to your golden M, ok?"

"Only if I really get to pay this time!"

Lily nodded. Her smile made Rufus want to sweep her off her feet and carry her to the stars. No matter how much time would pass, he already knew that this was the girl of his dreams, the love of his life, forever...

As soon as the two had reached the famous fast food place a little later, Lily pulled a hankerchief out of her purse and started cleaning her seat. She didn't notice Rufus staring at her in bewilderment. 

"Lily, what are you doing?"

"Just look, everything's greasy and dirty and..." Now she realized that Rufus was staring at her like she was from some remote planet. Ok, maybe this was a little over the top. She stopped and took her seat across from her admirer.

"Sorry, old habit. Do you want to get us something? Only a salad for me, I've had enough for the day." 

"As if you could be full with these yuck...yummy escarcot. So it's ok for you if I get a big burger and large fries?"

Lily grinned, nodded and gazed longingly after her boyfried who had already made his way to the counter. What a nice ass he had! Lily chided herself for her thoughts first, but then she had to smile. Rufus had triggered off emotions she had never felt before. At his side, she could finally be a normal girl, even if she felt out of place in her dress.

Rufus was back a while later and again it was like only the two of them excisted. Rufus seemed ro have forgotten his good manners while he gorged down his burger and fries; Lily didn't mind. She compared him with Bart Bass and William van der Woodsen and came to the conclusion that Rufus may not have high manners and lots of money, but he could give her what she really needed: true love, faithfulness, commitment and a heart of gold. 

"What are your plans after high school, Rufus? Do you want to go to music school?"

Rufus cleared his throat and looked into her warm blue eyes.

"To be honest, Lily, I'm going to quit school next year. Don't look at me like that, I'm not the College type. We got an offer from a big music producer, you can't refuse that."

"Sounds great. And..."

"We're gonna tour next fall. First the States, but maybe after that Europe, Asia..."

Rufus stopped when he saw the look of horror on Lily's face. All of a sudden, her world, which had been so wonderful up until a few moments, seemed to fall apart. Rufus wanted to leave her, it didn't matter that fall was still far away. The young man read her thoughts, took her hand and tried to calm her down.

"Lily, although we're still young I'm feeling so much love for you. I don't want to leave you behind. You could follow me..."

He winked cheekily, making Lily laugh again. 

"You mean as a groupie? Dream on!"

"Why not? You could protect me from the other girls. I can't think of a cuter groupie than you!"  
This fairy-like girl laughed again, making him wanting to kiss her again. At that moment, he noticed two ill tempered ladies coming in.

"They seem to be lost." Rufus said to his girlfriend, pointing at the ladies. Lilly turned around and instantly froze. She knew these ladies. One of them was Elly's mother and the other was – her own! CeCe Rhodes was furious and disappointed at het rebellious daughter for going out with this scumbag. She would tell them off...


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for the comments. But this story has translated a friend for me. ;)))**

Lily was shocked and wanted to flee, but she could not defy her mother. Rufus didn't care, but he didn't know those ladies.

"Can we help you ladies?" It was a friendly offer, made in such a charming way that Lily was about to melt again. It did not impress CeCe at all – she wrinkled her nose in contempt. She did not want the help of this bum.

"You can crawl back into the hole you came out of and leave my daughter alone. That would be a great help to us all!"

Rufus was aghast and looked at Lily in bewilderment, who nodded in desparation. He could not believe this charming girl had such a cold-blooded mother who looked at him in disgust.  
Inspite of his youth, Rufus had enough confidence and let no one – not even the president of the U.S. – tell him who he could date or not.

Although he felt the hostility and animosity the young man tried to stay polite – he did it for Lily who was too scared to talk back at her mom. She seemed to be controlled by her.

"Mrs. Rhodes, pleasure to meet you. Why don't you and your friend join us? We could have a chat..."

Rufus went pale when Mrs. Rhodes leaned in. He was wearing his best suit, nevertheless you could easily tell his background.

"There's nothing to chat about. Get out of my daughter's life, she ist too good for you scumbag!"

Rufus was flabbergasted, how could this woman be so impertinent? Lily finally dared to open her mouth."

"Mom, please! Rufus is not a scumbag!"

CeCe looked at her daughter so fiercly that the short rebellion was over in an instant. Lily would never stand up to her mother, and she cursed herself for it. Rufus must hate her. But he seemed way to good-natured for that. The way he looked at the shy girl told her that he understood and was worried about her rather than being mad at her. She wanted to kiss him – if only she had the heart.

Roughly, her mother pulled her up. This was too muh for Rufus and he yelled at his girlfriends' mom:

"Let Lily go, please! So what if we go out? Don't worry, I'll bring her home safe, I won't touch her."

CeCe let go of Lily, and while the girl was rubbing her arm, her mother dealt with this impertinent boy, who didn't seem to know who he was talking to. 

"I really hope you haven't touched her! Otherwise I will make your life a nightmare, young man. What am I saying, you're just a boy. Lily deserves better." Lily stopped and for a short moment Rufus hoped that CeCe would have a heart. But she got out her cheque book making Rufus feel like he was in a bad movie.  
"How much? I'd say you really need money. 50,000? 100,000? Lily is worth the world to me."

To CeCe's horror and Lily's surprise, Rufus grabbed the cheque book out of her hands and threw it on the ground.

"Lily is worth even more to me, Mrs. Rhodes. You can offer me all the money you have, I don't care. I am known for my forthrightness. I have never met a girl as lovely as your daughter and I already know that we're made for eternity."

Lily wanted to hug him, but Mrs. Rhodes prevented it. Elly's mother had watched the scene with disgust, but she knew that this affair would be easy to destroy. Before her friend went overboard, she whispered to her:

"Leave it, this rascal is not worth a scandal. Lily knows where she belongs. You know her – she loves luxury! This boy will never be able to give her that."

CeCe smiled viciously and put her cheque book back in her purse.  
"Lily, let's go home." she told her daughter, who was willing to go with her. She noticed the sad look on Rufus' face and quickly gave him a tender kiss. Rufus didn't want to let her go, but Lily withdrawed.

"See you in school tomorrow."she whispered to her boyfriend who gave her his cutest smile and would have gladly given her his heart. But she already held it in her hands, and he held hers. CeCe rolled her eyes and dragged her daughter out. Lily didn't have much time left at this public school, anyway. She had no idea how much Lily and Rufus wanted to be together. They would live their love.  
For the next couple of months they would have the best time ever. They wanted to seize every single moment, as if they knew that their love was not made for eternity. Their love would last through the decades, even they wouldn't be able to live it for a long time. But they didn't want to think about that.

Lily and Rufus both were young and loving life, they just enjoyed the moment, while CeCe Rhodes made plans for the future. Even if Bart Bass had lost interest at the moment, she still had William van der Woodsen on her hook. Cece wanted him to propose to Lily. She wouldn't run after this rocker anymore.

And so the fate of the young love birds was sealed...


	6. Chapter 6

Christmas of 2008

„Mom, are you coming? We can't wait forever!" Eric's young voice woke 39 old Lily van der Woodsen from her dreams of the past.  
One look in the mirror showed how much these memories had affected her. Why did Christmas alway make her feel so damn sentimental? She couldn't complain. She had been engaged to Bart Bass for one year now – who would have thought that she would get married? Bart was pushing her to set a date. Lily kept postponing it, she feared she had made the wrong decision.

Lily thought back at her marriage with William, who had given her two adorable children , 17 year old Serena and 15 year old Eric. However, they had experienced more lows than highs. She wasn't as happy as she had been with Rufus.

Lily managed an afflicted smile as she thought back at her last encounter with Rufus at the begining of the year. She wanted to enjoy their love for at least one day. Although she hurt him by accepting Bart's proposal, Rufus hadn't lost his composure.  
Why did she allow Serena to talk her into it? She was still happy with Rufus' son Dan and the thought that they could become brother and sister had forced Serena to press her mother to make this decision.

Serena wasn't happy to be the sister of unpopular Chuck. But she had Dan Humphrey who was very mature for his age and who would always be a comfort to her.  
Lily however, felt lonely and empty, although she had a big family.

"Mom, are you dreaming again? Come on, let's go to the Palace. Bart and...this little gnome are waiting!" 

"Don't talk like that. He's your brother, Serena!" Lily struggled to keep a straight face and hide her pain.

"He's just my...Mom, are you alright? Your eyes are moist!"

"It's just my allergy. We should fire the cleaning lady. The Palace is cleaner than Bart's place!"

"Mom, you're going to be a Bass soon. I heard that you're finally getting married. Though there are better guys than..."

Serena bit her tongue until it bled. Lily gave her a look which made clear that she could have chosen a better man – if only it hadn't been for them.

Without losing one more word, Lily left the house, followed by her children, holding their heads down. It was their first Christmas with their new step father and their new step brother Chuck and none of them was looking forward to it. They wanted to celebrate Christmas with the lovely Humphreys...

While there was silence in the car, Serena and Eric gave each other meaningful looks. They could feel how unhappy their mother was and Serena finally started to feel guilty. It was all her fault, maybe there would have been another solution which would have made everybody happy.  
Lily's cell phone rang and the name 'Rufus' appeared for the first time in months. She hesitated but when she saw Serena smiling and nodding, she accepted the call. Rufus put the phone down and played and sang a song well known to her.  
Lily started crying, but this time she was not ashamed of her tears. It was HER song, the song Rufus had written for her for Christmas in '85. It was called 'Lovely Lily'. Listening to his guitar and his warm voice, put Lily back on cloud nine again. It was the best Christmas presents Rufus could have given to her.

"Lily, even if you will be lost to me forever soon, I will always have you in my heart. I will never love another woman like I love you! I couldn't give Alison the love she deserved, but I'm glad I have Dan and Jenny.  
Merry Christmas, Lily. I will always love you!"

"Rufus..." Desparately, Lily van der Woodsen tried to talk to him, but he had hung up. She wanted to turn back time, but she couldn't. Suddenly, she felt Serena touching her hand. She looked into her daughter's wonderful blue eyes and saw understanding, love, regret and guilt. Finally, Serena spoke:

"Mom, I'm sorry. But it's not too late! Let's celebrate Christmas with the Bass family –but then you have to tell them that you love only one man – Rufus Humphrey."

"But Serena..." Lily couldn't believe her ears and although she wanted to follow her daughter's plan she was scared of the consequences. She knew that Bart could ruin her socially – no member of the bass family would let himself be humiliated. It wasn't that important, anyway. All these years she had led her life in luxury, but had she been happy? A Lily who was a stranger to herself?  
Much to her surprise, her youngest, Eric gave her his blessing, too. She had never been so proud of her kids.

"I really don't know how to thank you, children. I know it's not easy for you, Serena, but..."

"It's ok Mom. Dan and I will be happy, no matter what the others think. Gossip girls all over the world can talk, we will be fine. Mom, I'm so sorry for what I said. Bart really isn't right for you. Rufus is the man of your dreams and Dan is the man of my dreams. We're not blood related, so everything is ok!"

The blonde beauties hugged in the car and Eric was smiling. Who knew how long they would be enjoying the luxury of a big car? But wasn't love and happiness more important?

Lily was touched when her kids wanted to know about her and Rufus' story. In her thoughts she happily went back to Christmas of '85 which she spent alone with Rufus, totally in love.  
Christmas of '85 was special to Lily Rhodes as Rufus turned the young girl into a woman.


	7. Chapter 7

Christmas 1985

Lily Rhodes was happy to get over with the debutant's ball. William was not a bad guy, but the clumsy young man really could not dance. Lily couldn't bear his excuses any more. Was he a man or a mouse? The only thing that really mattered for Lily's mother was the fact that the van der Woodsen family was wealthy . CeCe coul not understand why Lily didn't appreciate her efforts. She was taking care of Lily's future and her daughter didn't seem to care. The thing that bothered CeCe even more was Lily's insubordination.

Much to CeCe's regret, Lily had to go to public school until fall. Lily had started dressing inappropriately and seemed to have forgotten her manners; in CeCe's eyes, Rufus was to blame for that. CeCe hardly recognized her daughter and had come to the conclusion that this had to stop. Lily, however, had other plans...

Christmas at the Rodes residence was a stiff and boring affair, like every year. CeCe had invited William and the Bass family (Bart seemed to be jealous of William, he had no idea of his real competion) as well as her friend Rose Waldorf and her daughter Eleanor.  
At the beginning, CeCe had feared that Eleanor would be a bad influence, but today, there was a dead calm between the two girls.

CeCe didn't know that Elly was green with envy since Lily had become No 1 at school. Lily hadn't planned to jeopardize their friendship, but she enjoyed her popularity. Why wasn't Elly happy for her? She used to be plain and the students made fun of her, with Rufus by her side she enjoyed life and was able to show her wild side, much to her own surprise.  
Elly however, hated anyone who stole the attention from her, the fact that Lily was supposed to be her friend made things only worse. She regretted deeply having taken Lily to the "Lincoln Hawk" concert. 

During dinner, Elly was wondering if she should tell CeCe about Lily's plans for the night. On the one hand, she desperately wanted to be more popular than Lily again. On the other hand, she didn't have the heart to give her friend away. She knew their mothers. And she feared Lily's revenge, should she find out.

Time passed slowly for Lily and Elly this Christmas Eve, but it finally came to an end. As Lily expected, her mother accepted the invitation of Bart's father to join him for a drink. William and Bart both courted Lily, who suddenly had a terrible headache and wanted to go to bed – alone!

Lily broke two hearts this evening, but her own heart longed for Rufus. She didn't need Elly's help, she could sneak out of the house one her own.  
Rufus would pick her up with his new (used) car and Lily grinned.

"So? It may not have a lot of horse power, but the owner has all the energy this car lacks!"

When Lily blushed, Rufus realized how ambiguous this statement was, since they had plans to spend the night toghether.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

Lily who had become more of a dare devil than all the Gossip Girls in town, just laughed and got in the car. It made a rattling noise and she cold not stop giggling. She could not believe how much Rufus had changed her. A couple of weeks ago, she had been shy. Rufus noticed the change but he knew that Lily had always been a vivacious girl, she had just been hiding it.  
They drove to New Jersey, to a small hotel which looked like he could afford it, but didn't seem sleazy.   
She loved all the colourful lights and the real Christmas tree in the lounge. No real candles of course, that would have been to risky. 

When they stepped into the elevator, Lily started to feel slightly uncomfortable. Was she really ready for this? Could she give up her virginity for this boy she had only known for a short time and whose world was so different from hers? On the other hand, she had never felt so safe before. Rufus tenderly pulled her closer and gently stroke her cheek, trying to calm her.

"Lily, my sweetheart. Don't be scared. I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to. I'm going to respect if you say 'Stop'. You mean more to me than anything else in the world, I could never hurt you. I want you to know that."

A tear rolled down her cheek, she was moved and thankful. Rufus was a gift from god and she knew that she would never meet another man like him. Lily swore to herself that she would not let him go.But life was not fair, as she should find out much later.

Rufus tried so hard to give her a good time. Lily sat down on the bed with him and smiled when she saw the expression of curiousity on his face while she straightened her short skirt. Not yet...

"Lily, I tried everything to get you a present, but I spent all my money on this room."

"Rufus, you're so sweet. THIS is the best present I have ever received. A night with the man of my dreams."

Rufus jumped up and clapped his hands, making Lily laugh again. She had never enjoyed herself so much before. But renting this room was not the only thing this lovable young man had for her. He got his guitar and started playing, a fascinated Lily was watching him.

She started crying. This song was really unique and would always stay that way. 

"And, did you like 'Lovely Lily'? Guess who I wrote it..."

Rufus couldn't finish the sentence, as Lily had started to kiss him wildly.  
She loved how every touch of him made her skin prickle. She loved his tender but passionate kisses that made her heart melt. She loved the warm and tender way he looked at her intensly, letting her know that he wanted her. But he didn't only want her body, Lily knew that. He had had one relationship so far, it had only lasted a couple of days. The girl had been too shallow and too jealous, although Rufus had been faithful to her. He was still young, but he was responsible and Lily loved him for it. 

Only a couple of minutes later, they had become more daring and had started undressing each other. Finally, they were facing each other, only wearing their underwear. They had to laugh as they looked at each other's red face.  
"Don't be scared, sweetie!" Rufus wispered while he ran his fingers through her long blond hair which was untamed like a wild horses' mane.  
Rufus tenderly drew her closer and she was slightly frightened when she felt his excitement. The next moment he started kissing her again and her fear turned to curiousity. They fell on the soft bed and enjoyed each others tender touch.  
Lily loved Rufus' soft skin and he was delighted by her graceful body. It seemed like the gods had created Lily, a fairy who had safed herself just for him. Both of them had a special feeling in their loins and one last look in each other's eyes told them that they couldn't wait anymore.

Lily would have never believed that 'the thing', as Elly called sex disparagingly, would stir up so many emotions. Sure, it hurt a bit at the beginning, and poor Rufus quickly withdrawed when he heard Lily's outcry. But Lily encouraged him to go on.

A little later, they had overcome their shyness and Lily started to enjoy his intimacies.  
She let herself go and felt his pofound love with every movement. They surrendered to their feelings. From time to time Rufus had to make sure he wasn't hurting her, but Lily was happy. To be loved by this attractive and lovable boy was a feeling she could not describe.

The two of them did not want it to end, but after Rufus had brought Lily to extasy, they finally let go of each other.

"Lily, my god! I love you so much! I hope you liked it, too."

"Like it? Are you kidding me? I have never experienced anything better. I think I could get used to it. " 

The two lovebirds giggled and laughed before Rufus put his arm around her and she fell asleep on his chest. Rufus himself didn't find any sleep that night. He was too happy he could hold her. She had shown him the meaning of true passion and love. He knew he would never love another woman like he loved Lily Rhodes.

Lily herself became a confident young woman that Christmas Eve. She would have countless beautiful nights with her Rufus.  
She would soon get the pill – even if Rufus was reasonable enough to use a condom.   
They were heading for turbulent but enjoyable times. Lily would blossom into a spaced out young lady, driving her mother crazy.


	8. Chapter 8

**THX for loving my story :))))**

Christmas 2008

The driver parked in front of the hotel and interupted Lily's dreams of the past. She blushed when she looked into the grinning faces of her children. Serena was almost an adult, but she was glad she hadn't 'confessed' the details of her 'sins' to Eric.

"Go on, Mom! It's getting interesting!"

Eric was very vivacious for his age and now that the relationship with his mother had improved dramaticly, he had become a happy young man. His suicidal tendencies which had worried Lily so much were a thing of the past.

"Eric van der Woodsen! I think I have told you enough already. And don't do what I did!"  
Serena smirked at her mother; she didn't have to worry. Thanks to Dan, she was not a virgin anymore. And if his dad had half the qualities he had, she could understand her mom's enthusiasm.

Lily just wanted this evening to be over quickly and told her kids to get out of the car.

"You know what you have to do, Mom?"

"This reminds me of something..."

Embarrased, Serena held her head down, but Lily hugged her and showed her that she wasn't holding it against her. Serena hadn't known how much Rufus meant to her mother and Lily had failed to tell her that Rufus was more than a little fling. Lily didn't say anything for the sake of her children, also fear had kept her from fighting for her love, like Serena had fought for Dan.

Bart Bass greeted the family in the hotel's dining room, which was reserved exclusively for them.   
"How decadent!" Lily whispered to her daughter, whose smile froze as a dark haired young man approached her, a diabolic smile on his face. While Bart kissed Lily's cheek tenderly and didn't notice how uncomfortable she felt, Serena managed to escape Chuck's embrace.

"Sis! Merry Christmas and...hey, nice knockers!" 

"Thanks! Hate you too, asshole!"

Serena got sick just looking at this little meanie, who was staring at her little brother in disgust. Not surprising, he couldn't hit on him.

After this lovely greeting, Bart asked his new family (at least he expected them to be his family soon) to take a seat. While Serena was wondering if the food would be equally distasteful as Chuck, Lily searched for the right words.How could she tell Bart in a nice way that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with him? She didn't want to hurt him and although he had his flaws, (not a rare thing in the Bass family) she was convinced that he really loved her. 

Lily also had to think of Rufus and how much she had hurt him in the months before her engagement. Even if she had misbehaved – it had all been for her own sake. She had protected herself from her feelings, but now she knew that it had been a terrible mistake. You couldn't cheat yourself, the feelings would always come back to haunt you.

"Bart, I need to talk to you, I..." 

"Darling, I am happy you brought the toppic up. Charles and I have agreed on spending the honeymoon in Mauritius as a family!" 

His son Charles, better known as Chuck, raised his right eyebrow. What was the old man talking about? Chuck didn't plan to spend his holiday watching the two old love birds.  
Serena was an attractive diversion, but too much of a prude for his taste. He prefered charismatic Blair Waldorf, unfortunately, she still treated him like he wasn't there. What was so great about Nate? She seemed to like losers.Too bad for her that Nate had not forgiven her after finding out about the little 'slip' with him.  
They hadn't been a couple at that time. Chuck did not know whom he hated more: Nate, a coward and hypocrite in his eyes (there wasno way their friendship cold be safed, Chuck tried to forget him) or Blair who had just dumped him.  
Speaking of being dumped...Chuck knew the van der Woodsen family better than his father did and he saw that something was wrong with Lily. Even Serena and Eric seemed happy, and they had no reason for it.

"Is it possible, dearest step mom-to-be that you are trying to tell my dad that you prefer to shag another man?"

You could grasp the silence which followed with your hands. Everybody was staring at Chuck with a mixture of horror, disgust, anger and even admiration (Serena did, just because he was so quick to notice)  
Bart Bass was the first to speak and started to chide his son:

"Charles! I expect you to apologise to Lily immediately. I know I haven't been a good father all the time, but I think I taught you some manners."

Chuck dismissed his father. What was there that his father could teach him? How to sleep with a different, much younger woman every week? Chuck had learned that from his old man, even if he had been faithful to Lily.

It was Lily who protected Chuck from getting a dressing down from his father. It was time to set the record straight. She couldn't do this to her children anymore.

"Bart, it's ok. I'm not saying your son is right, I've been faithful to you. But in my heart I love another man."

Chuck wanted to say something, but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. Lily and her lot would not get away easily, no Bass would let himself be humiliated and then just leave it at that.

"What does that mean, you love another man?" The love had vanished from Bart's eyes. He could not understand what his beloved fiancée was trying to tell him. Was she drunk already? No, that was not Lily's style. Why did she do this to him? Was this some special sort of Christmas present?

"My mother is in love with Rufus Humphrey, it's that simple!" Eric said, trying to help his mother. He just wanted to leave this place.  
Serena shook her head, telling him that he had said the wrong thing. He could also tell from Bart's reaction.  
At this moment, dinner was served – and Chuck seemed to be the only one who enjoyed it. He loved scandals...

"You're not talking about THIS Himphrey, the scumbag who owns this nasty gallery? Is this supposed to be an early April fools joke?"

"Can you stop making a fool out of yourself, dad? She wants to scr...love the father of retarded Dan –forgive me, dear not-my-sister. Is it so hard to understand?" 

"Charles!"

"Chuck!"

"Just call me Lucifer! And can we start dinner now? I'm hungry and I don't want you to spoil my Christmas. Little Chuckie wants to open his pressies!"

While Eric grinned and Serena feared Chuck's bad influence on him, Bart got up and roughly pulled Lily's arm 

"Bart, what are you doing? Stop hurting me!" Lily didn't recognise the man from her youth. She suddenly realised that she should have made this decision a long time ago. She could never love a Bass, that was certain. And even if she felt kind of sorry for Chuck, she did not want her children to suffer because of this cheeky brat.

Lily got scared when she saw the expression of hate in Bart's eyes. Why had she gotten involved with this guy. He was showing her his true face now – and it was not pretty.

"Dearest Lily! I am willing to forgive you for this little lapse. No, let me finish! I will not tolerate to be dumped like that. You can do that to an idiot like Humphrey, not to me. Don't look at me like that, your mother has told me all about your past. If you leave me, you will not be the only one to suffer. Neither your children, nor this damn Humphrey will ever be happy again. I hope, I've made myself clear!"

Lily fainted, and she remembered her mother using almost the same words. Would she never be allowed to be happy? She collapsed and didn't notice her children taking care of her.

She woke up later in bed next to Bart and surrendered. She could not allow her children and Rufus to be hurt, so she gave in to Bart. In her heart, she thought only of Rufus...

Meanwhile, Serena knocked on Chuck's door. He was interested in what she had to say. 

"Serena, darling, if you want to get into bed with, I have to check my schedule first. I think Isabel is first, but I could postpone..."

"As if she needed that! Let's make a deal: you help me to get your father away from my mom, I got something for you."

"Now we're talking! Which body part do you want to show me?"

"My fist, if you don't stop."

Chuck grinned, he loved making Serena mad. But her proposal really wasn't that bad. Serena would have never suggested it, but she knew that Blair missed the scumbag and had been crying on the phone to her about it.

Serena could not see what Blair liked about him, but it worked for her. Chuck didn't know how much Blair missed him. And Serena would have never guessed how much love Chuck felt for Blair. It was a weird kind of love. The more they hurt each other the more they missed each other.

And so the devil made a pact with the blond angel: Chuck would talk Bart into splitting up with Lily and Serena would convince Blair to go to Mauritius with Chuck. He did not feel bad about taking his dad's honeymoon trip – alone with Blair.

Lily had no idea of the kid's plans and fell asleep after the nasty sex with Bart. She dreamed of the past again...


	9. Chapter 9

On December 31 1986, Lily Rhodes had promised to herself to keep her new year's resolutons, which were the following:  
Never to let Rufus out of reach (not in this year and not in the following years)  
Never to play him a classical record again (what a glorious desaster, but he had taken it with a sense of humor)  
To go to every concert he played and to throw her bra on stage herself this time.  
Not to flirt with other boys , even if she liked being the crush of every boy in school.  
To fight with her mom more often – it was fun, (at least for Lily) and freed her soul.  
To reconcile with Elly, they barely even spoke at the moment...

The last thing on her list seemed to be the hardest, so Lily decided to deal with the other five first.  
In the last couple of days, she had asked herself if she would ever regret having slept with Rufus so soon. But the more she asked herself that question, the more she was sure that she had done the right thing. Sure, they were young (even if Lily told everybody who wanted to hear it, that she would turn 17 soon). Lily didn't know if her mother had found out that she wasn't an innocent little angel anymore. Sure, she couldn't keep her big mouth shut at home and the Pre-New-Years-Party had shown CeCe (she had come home early) that her daughter had become a rebellious teenager.  
But she didn't really believe that Lily had lost her virginity to this intolerable little rocker.  
In this case. Lily would have already felt the consequences.

But Lily didn't want to think about her mother today. Lily was very happy that Rufus had reluctantly agreed to celebrate New Years Eve in her favourite club. It was a place for young people, in contrast to 'Palace' or the 'Golden Diner'. The oldest people were seniors from college.

CeCe was away for the week, she didn't mind leaving her daughter alone, although Bart's dad never stopped mentioning that she needed a strong hand. He was the reason, CeCe had no time for her daughter and her newly discovered hormones. Lily didn't even want to know what they were up to in his mansion in Mauritius, which was to be Bart's house one day.

She wanted to spend every moment with her Rufus, even if Elly kept calling them an 'old couple'. Lily took it as a compliment, which bothered Elly even more. Lily had no idea her friend was going through a dificult phase, not unlike what Lily had been through. Elly couldn't hide her feelings and she also was dating a boy her mom didn't approve of. Harold wasn't a bad catch, but he wasn't 'the chosen one'.  
And then there were these rumours...but Elly dismissed them laughingly. She did not believe her Harold was gay...

Lily was so in love, she had not noticed that Elly's mother had taken her to a hospital for a certain procedure. Eleanor Waldorf had shocked her mom when she told her that she was pregnant. But she couldn't stand up to her mom who thought that an abortion was the best way to deal with this shameful matter.

It wasn't until much later that Lily was to find out about her friend's fate. Luckily, Elly was to have Harolds's daughter later in life.

Lily and Rufus entered the club together. She looked adorable in her beaded blue silk dress while Rufus was a little ashamed for wearing his dad's suit.

Howard Archibald was the first to greet Lily with a kiss on each cheek He had only a look of pity for her companion.

"Lillian, Sweetie! So good to see you again. You look amazing! Where's Bart?" 

"In some slut, I suppose. Whatever, good to see you, too, Howie!"

Rufus grinned at Lily's remark, but Howie looked like he was about to go to a funeral. Bart was one of his best friends and this guy next to Lily really didn't do it for him. Lillian Rhodes had dumped the most irresistable guy in New York (next to him, of course) to be with this loser?

A little later, the lovebirds were on the dance floor,where Rufus felt much more comfortable. He tenderly touched Lily's naked cleavage and whispered:

"I am the happiest young man on the planet, Lily Rhodes. My little hot minx!"

Lily smiled and kissed him. She was wondering why Elly hadn't come, usually she did not miss the opportunity to party. Maybe she wanted Lily to feel guilty? Rufus pulled her closer and she couldn't think of anyone else but him.   
Rufus was surprised when he looked over Lily's shoulder and saw Howie pouring some white powder into a cocktail glass. His surprise turned to horror when Howard came up to them.

"Wow, you're great dancers!" You must be really thirsty. Sorry, Rumulus, but..." 

"It's Rufus!" The young musician didn't even realize that he was shouting at this snooty guy. Lily raised an eybrow in surprise.

"Whatever, I don't know your taste, if you're old enough to drink..."

Rufus could not believe that a person this small could be so nasty. Lily shook her head and wanted to take the glass her friend offered her. She froze in horror when Rufus grabbed the glass from her hands and smashed it on the floor. 

While Howard was staring at him, Lily could not belive what he had done. Either Rufus was suffering from some kind of weird desease or he had gone mad. Maybe he was jealous of Howie which was cute to some point. But she had told him repeatedly that Howie was just a friend of the Rhodes family.

"Rufus, are you out of your mind?" What are you thinking?"

"Maybe he doesn't appreciate a good cocktail." Howie suggested. Rufus wanted to wipe the smirk of his face, but he checked himself.

"This guy wanted to give you drugs. I saw him..."

Howie started laughing loudly, Rufus could not believe that Lily didn't trust him.

"That's the weirdest story I have ever heard. And it's coming from you, Rufus. I am so disappointed. Howie would never do this to me!"

Lily could not find an explanation for Rufus' behaviour. Was he really that immature? Was her mother right and he was not the one for her? She couldn't believe it. She looked at her boyfriend and saw him make a fist when Howie brought over his friends to make fun of this lunatic.  
What hurt him the most was the fact that Lily didn't trust him. He angrily shook off her hand.

"Lily, believe me, god damn it!"

"Rufus, stop cursing, please. It's so embarrassing. Why don't you just apologize..."

Rufus could literally hear his heart break. He didn't recognise her anymore. So he was an embarrassment to her? He was only embarrassed by the fact that his manners kept him from hitting this Archibald guy. But Lily seemed to like this group of people, they meant more to her than her boyfriend. What should he apologize for? Wanting to protect Lily?

Rufus shook his head. He gave his girlfriend one last look. This couldn't be the end of their young love? Rufus was risking their feelings, just because he was jealous.

When he saw the expression on her face, Rufus realized that she didn't understand. Disappointed he turned around and left the club. Worse things happened at this place than at their concerts. Lily followed him with her eyes and her heart broke, too. Why did he do this to her? She didn't let Howie console her and went back to her place.

The two young people celebrated New Years Eve of 1985 with lots of tears, which were soon to dry again. At least for a while.


	10. Chapter 10

Shortly after Christmas Eve 2008… 

Lily van der Woodsen stood in front of the mirror in the luxurious bathroom of the Bass family. She hated herself for not being able to stand by her true love. Why wasn't she allowed to be happy? Didn't she deserve it?  
She wiped away one last tear, there was no use in thinking about the past. She did not want Bart to hurt her children and Rufus, and so she decided to make the best of her situation. At least she would lead a luxurious life. Funnily, she didn't find that thought as tempting as she used to.  
Lily sighed and waa about to take a shower when she suddenly saw Chuck standing there, staring at her.

"Not bad for your age!" Chuck wolf whistled, once again a diabolic grin on his face.

"Chuck Bass! What are you doing here? Get out!"

Lily put her robe back on. What was this cheeky brat thinking? The only good thing about her marriage was that, as a step mom, she could at least try to teach this boy  
some manners. Which was even harder than teaching an arabic terrorist to sing the American national anthem...

"I live here, remember? But I don't want to kick you out. Maybe we can take a shower together..."

"I'd rather shower with pigs!" hissed Lily and left the bath room. Chuck laughed. "Uh, what a big mouth! Passed it on to your daughter, didn't you?" 

Chuck enjoyed this little incident immensely. Nevertheless, he needed to have a chat with his dad. Sure, living with Lily and Serena had its advantages. The thought of an adventure with a Brunette who was his equal, however, seemed even more appealing. He just couldn't explain why his heart beat faster every time Blair passed his way.  
He remembered how she had dumped him for Nate, how the rumour had spread that she was pregnant by HIM...Surely he had hurt her with his words, but it was the only way for him to hide his vulnerability.  
Blair would never find out that he had suffered more than she had...

This day was to be special for everybody. Chuck had developed a plan to get his dad to break up with Lily. It was not very tasteful, but Serena had not made any rules on HOW to end their relationship. Chuck grinned as he felt the first drops of water on his body.

One day later...

Lily van der Woodsen was shocked when Bart kicked her and the children out of his appartment. He had not used many words but one thing was certain: he never wanted to see her again. His sudden change of mind made her nervous, but he assured her that he would leave them – and Rufus Humphrey – alone. If she stayed out of his life.

While Lily felt more and more relieved, even if she couldn't explain Bart's behaviour, Serena met up with Chuck in Central Park.

"How did you do it?" For the first time, Serena felt some sort of admiration for this guy. Only a little bit, he was too revolting. She had no idea why Blair had gone mad on the phone an hour ago when Serena told her that Chuck wanted to see her.  
As much as she liked her friend, she couldn't protect her all the time.  
She knew what Chuck was like...if Blair like this type of guy!

"Well, honey..."

"Don't call me honey!"

"How about sugar, then?"

"Down to business, Chuck! How did you do it?"

Chuck touched his lips with his finger. He loved making Serena wait. She would freak out, but he didn't care. She should be happy he freed her prude of a mother from his clingy dad. 

"Well, I told him I was in the shower with her and..." 

"What???"

"Don't worry, nothing happened. Unfortunately. Put your fist down. I just explained to my dad that it was plain to see, even for little Chuckie, that she is suffering from some nasty STD.  
Yuk!"

Serena let out a cry of horror, while Chuck's laughter made all the birds in the park flee from their trees. The blond girl tore at her hair and wanted to do the same with Chuck's.

"What were you thinking, scumbag? Either you have watched 'The O.C." too many times or you're crazy! Probably the last.

"Calm down, will you? I couldn't think of a better way to get the old man away from your mom" 

"That is why you put her reputation at risk?"

"You honestly think he is going to tell anyone?"

Serena thought about it and came to the conclusion that the possibilty was slim. She wanted to slap Chuck in the face anyway. The worst thing was his grin. He enjoyed this, it was easy to tell. She should have known that he would do something like that. She had to live with it. At least, Rufus and Lily could be together now.

Serena's thoughts went back to the conversation she had with Dan. At first, he wasn't too happy about the thought of Rufus and Lily being together. Serena had explained to him that it wouldn't change their feelings. And after they had talked to Rufus and seen how happy having a new chance with Lily made him, they knew that they had done the right thing. How could they deny their parents happiness? The only person not too happy about the whole situation was 15 year old Jenny. She had kind of a crush on Eric van der Woodsen. But three couples in one family was way too crazy, even for cheeky Jenny... 

"Earth to Serena! Earth to Serena! Are you here or are you on Mars? I've done my part, now it's your turn!"

Chuck's voice interrupted her thoughts. They strolled through the park together and Serena almost freaked when she heard an elderly lady say to her husband: "What a lovely couple!" She was talking about them! No need to say, Chuck had a dirty grin on his face.

"Blair's gonna meet you before school tomorrow. You can do the rest on your own, Bass!"

"Sure! Jesus, if you only knew what we're gonna do in Mauritius. But I can't tell you without being censored by the president of the United States, Bart Bass and the CW!" 

"The CW?"

"Forget it, just kidding. Ok, then, it was nice to work with you. If you ever get bored of Dan..." 

"You can forget about THAT quickly. Bye!"

Serena couldn't get away fast enough from that creep who was laughing about her. She didn't mind that, the rest of the day was more important. Finally she could tell her mom that she was free for Rufus. Serena was looking forward to seeing her mother smile again. 

A couple of hours later...

The three van der Woodsens stood in front of the door of the Humphrey's and while her kids were giggling, Lily was shaking like an overly excited teenager. She hadn't felt this way since her first time with Rufus. He had received the divorce papers some weeks ago and couldn't stop asking his children how he looked.

"Dad, compared to you, Johnny Depp looks like Frankenstein."

Jenny threw a mean look towards her brother. Other men got nothing on 'her' Johnny, even if her Dad was kind of attractive. But he wasn't really a man in her eyes, he was her dad.

Rufus opened the door and finally looked into Lily's blue eyes again which were moist from tears of joy.

"Hello, Rufus!" she just said and giggled when he pulled her closer. He showed her the mistletoe above their heads. Was it fate or a plan of the kids...She fell into his arms and they kissed passionately.

Jenny looked away deliberately and was thankful that Eric distracted her. Dan and Serena hugged and started kissing like they wanted to keep up with their parents.

A little later, the happy family sat in the living room. Lily had placed her head in Rufus' lap and while he was stroking her hair gently he told he kids about their past, about the time when Lily had followed him as a groupie...


	11. Chapter 11

October 1986

Lily Rhodes had long forgotten about her last fight with Rufus, it had been months ago. Inspite of all their differences, they were really commited to each other. She had been to every concert of his band and going to this boring all-girls-school didn't mean that she was spending less time with Rufus.

Her mother could not slow her down, Lily thought she had her in check. She was more worried by the fact that Rufus was going to be on tour. Luckily, it was just the U.S. for now, but she didn't want to think about him traveling to exotic places or 'just' Europe.

Although he had flown to Texas only three days ago, Lily already had a yearning for him.  
She wanted to be at today's concert, so she didn't mind her mother being away for the weekend with Elly's mom. She had no idea that the two women were planning to follow her.

Lily put her clothes in her bag. Next to the oldfashioned stuff she still wore for her mom, she had more stylish clothes, which were also easy to wash. She looked at her watch and realized that she had to hurry if she wanted to catch her flight. As she was on her way out, Elly came up to her. 

Lily hardly recognized her friend who used to be so vivacious. Although they hadn't been talking for months, Lily was worried about her.

"Where are you going?" Eleanor who was pale and had lost a lot of weight looked at her friend's bag. Then she remembered that 'Lincoln Hawk' were on tour.  
"Oh, ok...your rocker...!"  
"He is not a rocker! Ok, he is. But Rufus is also my boyfriend. Elly, what is going on? Can we talk in the cab? I have to get to the airport."

Elly nodded, she was relieved that Lily was still talking to her, after all she had done. Minutes later, the two girls were in the back of a cab, and after a few minutes of silence, Elly's head fell on Lily's shoulder. She was crying her heart out and Lily hated having to leave in a state like that. But soon she would hardly see Rufus at all. She wanted to enjoy every second she had with him. Even if all the Gossip Girls in town called her THE groupie, she didn't care. She wanted only him and he wanted only her. She sincerely hoped it would stay that way, she trusted him.

"Elly, what's the matter? I don't really know you anymore."

"Lucky girl! I wish I didn't know me anymore! But...ever since I've had this abortion...Lily, I killed my baby! I thought I could get over it, but I can't. And Harold doesn't even know..."

Lily was shocked and wondered what else she had missed. She had been so in love, she hadn't even noticed how miserable Elly was. She felt very guilty. Elly noticed that Lily was about to tell the driver to turn around.

"Please don't do that, Lily! If you want to do me a favour, go and see Rufus. Be happy! And don't let anybody tell you he's bad for you. Love each other, but be careful."

"But Elly, I can't leave you like this."

"You have to, Lily. Thanks for listening. I'll be fine. Will you come back?" 

Tenderly, Lily stroke her friends' hair. Finally, they were close again. Lily hoped that Elly would find her way and her happiness. Maybe with Harold...

"Of course, sweetie! Rufus and I are so much in love, we don't even feel the distance anymore. Soon I won't be able to travel anymore, but he will come to me. Do you want a cowboy from Texas as a souvenir?"

"Yeehaw!" Elly answered and started laughing. The two of them held hands until they arrived at the airport. They separated after a long hug, they knew they could always count on each other, wherever they were. 

Hours later in Texas...

The 'Lincoln Hawk' show had been a succes, last but not least because of the bubbly blond girl in the front row, who wasn't only turning up the heat for Rufus, but in the whole venue.There was not one person who didn't admire her, not only because she was Rufus' girlfriend.

Before signing autographs, Rufus kissed his beloved Lily on her sensuous lips. Both felt free and happy.

"I'm so proud of you, honey!" Rufus whispered so tenderly, Lily got goosebumps.

"What can I say about you, my rock star? I love you, Rufus Humphrey!" 

"And I love you even more, Lily Rhodes!" The two of them had to laugh. One moment later, Rufus was dragged away by a band mate and while he was giving autographs – no kisses for the poor girls – Lily decided to go outside and get some air.

She was shocked when Mrs. Waldorf and her own mother showed up a couple of minutes later. Before she could say a word, CeCe Rhodes hissed:

"Young lady, I've had it with you. I am sick and tired of you walking all over me. You're coming home with me!"

"And if I don't want to?" Lily pulled a face like a spoiled little kid . She hoped her mother would show some heart; she was disappointed.

"You're just 17, remember. And I have something to cheer you up..." CeCe pulled out a credit card, no, more than one...  
She offered them to Lily. How long had she wanted her own credit card? But was she willing to put her love in jeopardy just to go shopping? CeCe saw that she was indecisive and enjoyed it.

"Lillian, I can give you so much more than this poor fellow. And what about William van der Woodsen? He wants to take you on his father's yacht. You could travel Europe, the world. Don't be stupid, Lily. What is a kiss from this rocker compared to a life of luxury? I know you. You enjoy the life we lead."

Lily shook her head , not so much to her mom as to herself. She hated these doubts in her mind. Why couldn't she just say "No!", there was nothing to it. Sure, she would have to go back to New York, but CeCe would not be able to keep her from Rufus for long. Even if it would be tough for Lily...

CeCe just wanted to soften her daughter up before this Humphrey guy showed up.

"Lily, child. Please don't throw away your life. You know you won't have any money if you leave me. I didn't let my mother down and you know how much I inherited. I don't need the money, I will give it to you. You can live like a queen, Lily. Come on!"

Lily's knees got shaky, she didn't know what to do. It was too tempting, she had to admit, her future was as unstable as her knees right now. What if Rufus left her for another groupie? She would be without money and without a home. A relationship with William, combined with her own wealth seemed more appealing than ever.

But when she closed her eyes, she saw the sad dark eyes of Rufus, then she saw him smile again, she felt his kisses. No, she would not give up her true love.  
Love meant sacrifice.

"I'm sorry...No, actually I'm not sorry, Mom. I cannot accept your offer. Maybe ou can keep me away from him for the rest of the tour, but not forever. We will always find each other, we love each other too much."

CeCe's smile froze. She did not understand how her own child could be so stupid. If she wanted to learn the hard way...Moments later, she was making it perfectly clear to her daughter that her life wasn't going to be the only one that would be ruined if she stayed. CeCe pointed out that she would turn Rufus' life into hell, she knew people. Lily knew she didn't have a choice, although she would feel guilty all her life.

An hour later...

Rufus didn't believe what he was hearing, he even doubted Lily's mental health. Maybe the poor thing was tired? Why on earth did she want to break up with him?

"Rufus, I know you don't understand. But I've been thinking. We're too different."

"Yeah, you're blond and I'm stupid. Now seriously, honey, what is going on? I just can't believe you don't love me anymore."

Lily knew that she had to change her plan, as painful as it was. But she would never get rid of Rufus (not that she wanted it) if she didn't make it clear to him that their love didn't make sense.

"Rufus, please, don't talk about love! We're teenagers, what do we know?"

If it hadn't been for those dark puppy eyes...  
"Lily, I really believe someone put something in your coke. An hour ago you told me that you love me."

"My god, Rufus! You can't be this naive! I never loved you. Sure, we had fun, but we should leave it at that. William however..."

Rufus' eyes got wide and Lily realised that her method worked. What was more frightening to a man than another man? (Well, a mother maybe, but Rufus would never find out about that)

"Ok, so the reason for your sudden change of mind is William. Why, Lily? Please explain it to me! We had so much fun and don't forget how much we loved each other..."

Lily had to turn away when she saw the tears in her boyfriend's eyes. Why couldn't he just go? Why did he force her to hurt him even more? She had to end it – and she would always hate herself for it. 

Lily forced herself to sound cold when she said: "Love? I recall William loving me even better three days ago. Don't look at me like that. I thank you for taking the fear away. But it's just perfect with...RUFUS!"

Lily had achieved what her mother wanted. Rufus bolted and did not turn around. He ran for his life, this damned girl should not see his tears. How could she hurt him so much? He would never make a fool of himself again. He would never believe in true love again.

He accidently bumped into a slim, blond girl who didn't even yell at him, she just smiled. Alison liked this cute guy, but he ran on and didn't look at her. The girl sighed and picked up the folder with drawings she had dropped. Some day she would be famous and this boy would pay attention to her... 

Another blond girl sat in a cab next to her mother who was chatting to her friend about the latest fashion, not feeling any guilt. She didn't notice Lily crying. Lily Rhodes had to break the heart of her true love, so he could enjoy his life. If Rufus only knew...Lily would not be happy for a long time and even if life had other plans for the two separated love birds, they would never forget each other!


	12. Chapter 12

**There must be a Happy End ;))) Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments!!! **

Back in the year 2008…

Lily still had her head in Rufus' lap and told them the last part of the story herself. Rufus seemed frozen, he had stopped to stroke her minutes ago . Lily purred like a kitten and begged for more but she knew exactly what was on his mind.

"Lily, my god! You didn't leave me for the money, you..."

"...didn't want to ruin your life. Mom would have done that. Who knows what would have happened."

Lily sat up, brushed a streak of her hair from her face and looked at her Rufus with endless love. The pain they had to go through in the last decades. At least, Lily didn't regret having her wonderful children. The kids were touched by their parents' tragic love story. Well, maybe Jenny wasn't, she was yawning. She wanted her dad to be happy, but it would take some time until she was willing to accept Lily.

Tenderly, Rufus touched Lily's face, he didn't want to stop. She had sacrificed so much for him and he had been so stupid to let her go. Their break-up had come so fast, why hadn't he fought for her? 

"Lily, I swear I will never let you go, no matter what nonsense you tell me. I love you more than life. I'm so sorry!" 

He was shaking. Nevertheless, Lily gladly fell into his arms again. Now all the feelings that had been suppressed for years finally showed. They were both happy they could show them.

"We'll be one big happy family! Don't look at me like that, Dan...You can still be with Serena. We Humphreys got taste!"

Everbody laughed, except Jenny. They were all planning their future together when Lily's cell phone rang, reminding them of how cruel life could be. Lily's heart almost missed a beat when doctor House (NOT related to the guy on TV) told her that her mother had been hospitalised weeks ago. She was terminally ill with cancer and wanted to see her daughter and her gandchildren one last time.

"Oh my god! And I thought she was lying to us!" Lily cried on Rufus' shoulder while Serena kept cool and rang for a cab. Jenny wanted to stay home and Serena asked her boyfriend to stay with his sister. She wanted to do this on her own and Dan understood.

While the Humphreys were on their way to the hospital, Chuck met up with Blair at the Waldorf penthouse. He just couldn't wait another day...Two weeks in Mauritius, and surely the sun wouldn't be the hottest thing there...

"Do you enjoy watching me pack, Bass?" Blair threw one last look at her half-empty closet. The employees at the airport would not be too happy about her excess luggage, but she would find a way to get away with it. You couldn't expect her to wear the same outfit every day. She wanted to change at least four or five times a day.

"Yeah!" came Chuck's answer. He was surprised how much she got into this little suitcase, he hadn't seen the other two Blair had packed before he arrived. He didn't care too much about her clothes, he preferred her naked, anyway. At least, Blair did him a favour and threw her red panties right in his face.

"Yummy! But it tastes even better when you're in them!"

"Pig!" Blair replied, but not without a grin on her face. Was she in love with Chuck? She could not answer this question, maybe true love didn't exist. Even if her friend Serena was happy with her Dan – they were much too young to know the meaning of love.  
What did Chuck mean to her? Fun and wild games for the most part. Blair hadn't stopped being romantic deep down in her heart. But her Ex Nate had proven that romance didn't necessarily mean love. She was fed up with his unjustified reproaches. He was whining about it whenever he talked to Serena. She still had an effect on Nate, and Blair didn't like that at all. She rather enjoyed her affair with Chuck, who had romantic sides, too.   
She smiled as her thoughts went back to her 17th birthday. Chuck had been so sweet when he confessed his feelings to her. Who would have thought this guy could have butterflies in his stomach, too? He had consoled he when she saw a picture of Nate and Jenny on her cell phone. He had given her an expensive necklace and kissed her shoulder. She had felt butterflies in her stomach, too.

"I was planning to take you out to Palace, but if you keep dreaming..." 

She almost thanked him for bringing her back to reality. She wasn't planning to fall in love again so soon after Nate. And Chuck Bass wasn't exactly longtime boyfriend material. She had to be careful.

"You have contraceptives?" she asked after closing her third suitcase.

"Sure! Pictures of Dan Humphrey, as prescriped by doctors. But, you do realise that it's not only a man's job."

"You don't say! Come one, let's party before..."

"...we gotta do what we gotta do in Mauritius." Again, Chuck had a dirty grin on his face and Blair didn't know wether to laugh or cry. She found his diabolic ways so appealing, she decided to laugh. A little later, they were partying at the Palace. They just couldn't wait for their trip to start, they had no idea how many surprises it had in store for them.

It was late at night when Lily got home again, together with Rufus, Serena and Eric. She put her head on his shoulder and while he was caressing her cheeks, she thought about the last words of her mother, who had died an hour ago.

"Lily, my biggest whish is your forgiveness. There's only one more thing: be happy with Rufus and let Serena be with her Dan. You love each other, I understand that now. Not being in touch with you taught me what it feels like to be lonely. I wish I could undo the terrible things I did. Be a better mother than I was. I am glad you're finally happy. Please forgive me so I can find peace."

Of course, Lily forgave her mother and a while later, CeCe died peacefully in her arms. She had even made peace with Rufus, there were no bad feelings on his side. Lily was impressed when she saw how his generosity touched her mother. 

"Rufus, you're the most wonderful man on the planet! Make love to me tonight like it's our first time."

Rufus smiled and kissed his blond angel.

"Sweetie, I promise you it will be even better. Together we will reach the stars tonight." 

Lily cuddled up to him while Eric was longing for Bart's limousine for one moment. There was very little room in the back of the taxi, especially next to those love birds.

A while later, Rufus kept his promise and loved Lily so tenderly, it almost made her heart explode. They weren't bothered by the loud music Jenny was playing. She just couldn't handle the situation, and Eric was no comfort to her. He was part of the problem. Being with him became more and more awkward and Jenny blamed Lily for that. In contrast to Serena, he had a problem with being in love with the daughter of his mom's boyfriend. And so, he kept on talking about the latest movies. Jenny had enough and she realised that her father needed a new girlfriend.

Dan and Serena enjoyed their love that night just like their parents and had no idea that their relationship was to be put to the test only a few weeks later.

Two weeks later, Chuck Bass was back in the country. He was accompanied by an agitated Blair and some interesting news. They had met an 'old friend' of Dan's in Mauritius. While Blair was in complete shock, Chuck called him 'a cue from the devil himself'. They both agreed that something had to be done. Chuck wanted to have some fun and he wanted to see Dan and Serena suffer. Blair, however, was honestly concerned for her best friend. Serena had to know the truth about her precious, perfect Dan.

The truth that would destroy everything...

THE END

To be continued...


End file.
